


my roommate is a goddamn ghost

by poketa



Category: Carmilla (Web Series), Carmilla - All Media Types
Genre: AU Ghost!Laura, Also poor Carmilla, F/F, Laura is a dumb ghost leave her alone
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-08-30
Updated: 2017-11-07
Packaged: 2018-12-21 15:42:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 16,610
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11947380
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/poketa/pseuds/poketa
Summary: Her new apartment is beautiful.Maybe, it doesn't have a great view- but honestly, who cares?There are worst things in life....like discovering that there is a ghost living in it, after buying.or AU Laura is a ghost and Carmilla deals with it the best she can.





	1. apples, socks and blood.

**Author's Note:**

> based off a weird dream I had once.  
> Reminder: English is not my first language and I do not have a beta,,,deal with it.

She walks into the place and hardwood floors greet her, the heel of her boots making a sound loud and clear when they have contact with the shiny floor beneath.

And Carmilla instantly decides that this is the one.

The view from the balcony isn't the most beautiful she has ever seen, in fact, her old one had the entire view of the city but it didn't matter at all, because the stars above were the ones that mesmerised her every night, it never mattered what the ground could hold for her.

It's a nice apartment, she notes, not big enough to make her feel alone, not tiny enough to make her miss her old one. She doesn't hesitate to buy it. It seems like a good decision, even if the fact that they are selling it fully furnished, seems a little weird, her opinion doesn't change because everything seems well maintained.

This is _the_ one.

 

* * *

It's well into her second day living in the apartment when an old lady knocks at her door. Her first visitor.  _How exciting._

“Well?” Carmilla asks instantly once she opens the door, her expression not one of happiness, really not caring about making good impressions with people in the building.

The old lady in front of her introduces herself as her next door neighbour “call me Lucy” she adds with a toothy grin.

Carmilla just lifts an eyebrow at her and asks unimpressed “Why are you really here for “Lucy”?”

The woman leans in a little making Carmilla move unconsciously a little closer too “I come to warn you about this apartment” the woman whispers with a frown.

Carmilla rolls her eyes at the dramatic behaviour of the old woman but doesn't shut the door instantly. _Maybe this could be entertaining._

“Weird stuff happens in this place, honey” the old woman nods convinced of her own words, it seems “I would advice to move away instantly”

The dark haired girl raises her eyebrows unimpressed.  _It got boring a little too fast_ “Listen, Lucy” she says, trying to not be cruel to this woman, after all she is old, she may be bored or something. Carmilla understands what age does to old people. “thanks for the advice but I like this place very much, I won't move away, have a good one”

Carmilla waves a little with a fake smile before shutting the door and shudders.  _Fake sweetness is definitely worse than true sweetness._

She walks back to the couch and throws herself face first into it. Around her, boxes are still unopened, she ignores them in favor of taking another nap, she can deal with unpacking them another time.

 

* * *

Later, when Carmilla finally finds the resolve to try to unpack, she can't find any of her socks and scratches her head with a puzzled expression, resolving to open all of the boxes, to hunt them down.

'That's odd…. Maybe I lost them...'

And she decides that maybe the hour is playing her tricks, when she doesn't find them.

But then when she goes to wash her teeth and the bathroom smells weirdly like apples. It's a pleasant scent and Carmilla can't help but sigh with appreciation before remembering with a frown that she hasn't installed any scent freshener in the bathroom or the house yet.

'The fuck is going on…?'

Carmilla goes to bed more than confused but quickly leaves it aside because those are two perfectly explicable things that she is not going to make sense of- because _who cares?_ Socks aren't even that great and needed- and anyway, she isn't going to use them, opting to walk barefoot in the nice hardwood sounds so much better.

And the new scent in her bathroom? Carmilla likes apples alright.

_This whole situation is plain ridiculous,_ it's her last thought before falling asleep, _there is nothing wrong with this apartment._

 

* * *

“This poltergeist just doesn't know how to poltergeist” Carmilla says to Lafontaine with a shrug before taking a sip of her coffee, eating a chocolate cookie and sighing with satisfaction at the combinated taste.

They are having coffee at her apartment, after the redhead invited themselves in when Carmilla accidentally mentioned the weird visit of her next door neighbour and the disappearing socks. Her friends are annoying like that.

Lafontaine hums in contemplation that makes her roll her eyes.

“So, you do believe that there is something weird in or about your apartment?” they ask, way interested in her story about the fruity scented bathroom and Dobby, the friendly poltergeist.

Carmilla thinks for a second.  _It's not like I can ignore that it happened but it's not like really important or menacing enough?_

“Maybe?” she replies half-convinced because it's more annoying than anything else, not that she has thought about it that much but she just doesn't put energy in things that seem out of a ridiculous horror movie.

Carmilla breaks a cookie in two and eats one piece, chewing on it slowly as they stare at her like she's the crazy one.

“You _maybe_ believe that there is an entity in this place, that steals your socks and sprays apple scent in your bathroom?” they ask unconvinced.

Carmilla shrugs with a mocking smile before taking another sip of her cup.

_Wait-_

She spits back into the cup and looks at Lafontaine before looking down at the cup.

“Dude-is that _blood_?” they comment with wonder in their voice.

Carmilla looks at the red liquid in her cup and moves her hand to wipe the rest from her lips. She could swear it was coffee two seconds ago “It sure tastes like it” Carmilla grimaces with disgust and spits again in the cup.

“I always thought that you were a vampire” Lafontaine comments while shaking their head “Now that's disappointing”

Carmilla looks unimpressed but keeps her comments to herself.

“So, are you a believer now?” they ask nodding to the cup with a shit-eating grin.

Even if the blood in the cup seems like the most evident clue that there is something going on, the dark haired girl certainly doesn't want to give them the satisfaction of a confirmation, so instead Carmilla just shrugs before stealing their cup and sipping at it “Maybe” she concedes after a second with a mocking smile.

Lafontaine scoffs snatching their cup away "You are in denial” they point out with an accusing finger.

“And you are a pain in my ass” Carmilla replies with a fake smile, snatching their cup again and taking another sip of the stolen mug.

As much as the blood sits there in front of her in the mug, she is just not going to give them or - whatever thing- out there the satisfaction of reacting in any sort of way about these little intro-missions- like, sure, it's a little freaky to see coffee turned into blood but it's not like she's scared or something- all of this, it's just- _annoying._

 

* * *

It's the morning of the third day in her new apartment slash house of little horrors.

Carmilla is waking up, slowly rolling her joints in bed, moving her arms, trying to stir all she can before leaving the bed- when suddenly her eyes zero in something. Or more like someone.  _Nope, it can't be._

A _girl_ in her room- A blonde girl that looks angry. Something that happened a lot in her college years but now? It didn't make sense.

_I'm not going to deal with this so early in the morning_  Carmilla thinks to herself, so she lays again in bed and tries to sleep.

“ _I know that you are awake_ ” an unfamiliar voice says with clear irritation.

_Great, she sounds annoying._

“ _Well_ , if anything- I'm trying to not be” Carmilla bites back, getting comfortable in the warm blankets “So, if you excuse me- I'm going back to sleep”

“ _I'm not going to go away_ ” the unfamiliar voice replies with the same bite, making a point of sighing very deeply as if to making her point clear and Carmilla can feel a headache forming

“ _I don't care_ ” Carmilla replies, sighing back just as loudly. Then Carmilla tries to close her eyes and actually sleep but the unknown presence in her room starts an incessant repetition of her name and “ _wake-wake-wake_ ” making her kick the blankets away, sit and rubs her eyes after less than half a minute of the annoying chant.

“Who the hell are _you_ and why are you disrupting my life?” the dark haired demands with a raised eyebrow, expecting an explanation. She looks at the girl and the blonde seems less offended now that she has her attention.

Carmilla scoffs. _Attention brat._

“My name is Laura” the girl replies firmly.

Carmilla tries to blink her sleep away but her eyes can't help but see the girl as a faint silhouette at the end of the bed.

“And _you_ are?” she asks with a yawn, rubbing her eyes.

The girl frowns in apparent confusion “A ghost?” she moves her hands in weird moves, gesturing to herself as if to making a point “ _a disembodied soul? the soul of a dead person believed to be an inhabitant of the unseen world or to appear to the living in bodily likeness?”_

Carmilla chuckles sleepily. She realizes that that's the reason why the girl seemed so faint and that it has nothing to do with her eyes “Okay” Carmilla accepts yawning again.

The ghost seems offended again after that, if the scrunched up face is anything to go by.

“Shouldn't you be afraid of me?” Laura asks floating closer to her “I mean- I am a ghost, a spirit, I could harm you or something- I even did that cool thing with the blood, you know!”

Carmilla shrugs and gets up, deciding that this is taking more time that she would like to waste on ghosts with need for attention “Seen worse” she comments in her way to the bathroom. She needs a warm shower and then coffee.

“What's worse than a ghost?” the girl asks in surprise, following her to the bathroom.

“Humans” Carmilla replies instantly in her most  _duh_ voice, then starts to take her shirt off and hears a squeak coming from somewhere behind her.

And suddenly all gets quiet and that annoying voice isn't in her ear anymore.

“Finally” the dark haired says to herself, getting rid of her shorts and getting into the shower. 

The ghost doesn't appear again that day.

 

* * *

“ _Do you ever go out_?”

The question startles Carmilla, who sits in the couch with a groan, letting the book fall to the floor without a care.

Two days without the ghost.

Two wonderful days without _that annoying voice_.

“Or work?- Do you have any friends apart from Lafontaine and that guy you text sometimes? Kit? Mitch? I think it was Kirsch, could be wrong I guess” the ghost asks in a rapid fire of questions, floating just in front of the TV with inquisitive eyes.

Carmilla lifts an eyebrow after a second, A little impressed. She talks really fast.

“Do you ever shut up?” Carmilla asks back mildly intrigued “Like actually, don't make any sound, go quiet, kind-of shut up?”

The girl blushes instantly and goes silent.

Carmilla can't believe this ghost. Unlikely blush-y, cute faced and perky- Aren't ghosts supposed to be scary and really creepy?

“Anyway, why you want to know all that stuff, sundance?” she asks leaning into her right hand, looking directly at the ghost, trying to make her talk again “Are you a fan of me now? Want a signature or some shit?”

Carmilla notices three things while she waits for her answers: that the girl seems around her age or younger, that her clothes are from this century and that her face is kind of cute when she pouts like she is doing right now.

“I-I just want to get to know the person that is living in my apartment, I-I guess” the ghost replies a little shakily, after a moment of silence.

“ _Your_ apartment?” Carmilla asks interested, sitting a little more straight in the couch and putting more attention on the girl.

“Yeah, _my_ apartment” the ghost answers, nodding with a barely there blush in her cheeks. She moves closer to Carmilla “I kinda lived in here for a while”

“You mean in _my_ apartment?” Carmilla asks with a serious expression that it 's hiding her amusement.

“I was the original owner of this place before you bought it” The ghost replies with a bunched up face. She floats to be right in front of Carmilla “Back then it was _my_ apartment” she insists.

And now that Carmilla can see Laura's face more clearly and close, she feels a sudden wave of a familiar feeling creeping up that it's warm and unsettling 'Okay, this is fucking strange, make it stop'

But thankfully or not, the front door opens suddenly, breaking the moment and Carmilla watches the ghost disappear instantly.

It's Lafontaine, in all their ginger glory “You won't believe what happened today at- _why are you frowning at your TV_?” Lafontaine asks instantly after seeing Carmilla's face.

There is silence.

“Remember the poltergeist?” Carmilla hears a hummed “yes” and continues with a smirk “She is annoying, blonde and a fucking ghost”

The feeling under her skin disappears slowly and it's a little unsettling how she can't stop thinking about it but Lafontaine bites the bait and is easy to distract herself after that.

 

* * *

Standing in the middle of the living room, shiny eyes, looking like a excited kid who is going to receive candy, instead of a person that just found out that a ghost is living in the apartment of their friend, Lafontaine continues their quest and annoying her.

“Listen” Carmilla repeats again, exasperated “I don't _fucking_ know where she went”

The redhead seems offended to hear that.

“You must do something to make her appear then” they argue raising their hands dramatically “There are so many questions I need to ask! She is a freakin ghost, you don't get how cool is that?”

Carmilla is sitting in the couch, looking annoyed and disinterested at the same time “Not really” she shrugs.

“I don't know _why_ I'm still friends with you” they say closing their eyes for a second and breathing out.

Carmilla scoffs “Honestly, right back at you”

“Think about it” Lafontaine says, trying again “What were you doing the first time and second time she appeared?”

“Sleeping” Carmilla replies, already bored, looking at her nails with detention “And reading” she points out.

“So... she likes to appear- when you are being quiet, that's it!” Lafontaine smiles excited again and Carmilla looks at them “You have to be quiet!”

Carmilla scoffs again but tries anyway, it's not like she has anything to lose and, at least, if she tries and fails, Lafontaine will accept it and leave her alone and dig up for a plan on their own. Sitting lazily in the couch, Carmilla picks up the book from the ground and starts reading again, meanwhile, Lafontaine sits in the opposite end of the couch, observing the place for any signal or appearance of the tiny ghost with excited eyes.

_All of this is ridiculous._

 

* * *

More than half an hour later, Carmilla gets bored and throws the book to the sleeping form of one redhead at the other end of the couch.

They volt awake and look everywhere.

“What was that for?” they groan, rubbing their arm instantly.

“You were drooling on my couch” Carmilla replies with a raised eyebrow “Also, Casper didn't show up”

“Aw man, I shouldn't fallen asleep” Lafontaine laments with a frown but lights up almost instantly “Wait- _Casper_? Really? That 's the nickname you use?”

“Look, let's forget about her for a minute" Carmilla sighs a little more than exasperated "Why are you here in the first place-? I think you mentioned something earlier”

“Oh yeah, I forgot!” They say excited, forgetting the pain in their arm and raising their arms “Guess, who got the funding for their project?”

“No _way_ ” Carmilla pushes with an instant smile.

“Way” They nod eagerly “Not just the money but also access to the laboratory of the university”

“Holy fuck- just how good was your presentation, again?” Carmilla asks in wonder. She stands up and makes her way to the kitchen, knowing that they will get the hint to follow her.

“Good enough” Lafontaine replies with a nonchalant shrug, following her “And before you ask, Perry is excitedly cleaning the house in celebration, so that's why I'm here”

Carmilla chuckles with a smile “Of course, that's why you are here” then she opens one of the cabinets and instantly frown “I swear I had cookies in here”

Lafontaine stands behind her and cracks a teasing smile “I see- she must like cookies, huh?” the teasing in their voice evident.

“ _Who?_ ” Carmilla asks, looking again into the cabinet as if the cookies would appear again out of thin air.

“Casper, the friendly blonde” Lafontaine teases, opening the refrigerator and getting a can of grape soda.

“This is not funny” Carmilla cuts with a glare, opening the other cabinets to confirm her theory “they must be somewhere around here” she moves her groceries but all of the cabinets are stripped clean from her cookies. Every can, every bag, everything is there but her cookies.

'This must be payback for the teasing' Carmilla thinks, banging her head on the counter top once.

“I fucking hate her” Carmilla growls, opening with resignation a bag of chips from the pile of things that she threw out and munching unhappily on one, clearly giving up.

Lafontaine laughs at Carmilla's suffering and, of course, instantly wins a punch in the arm.

“ _Ouch_ ” they yelp, rubbing it "stop hurting my good arm, jeez"

“Now, I feel a little better” Carmilla says with a mocking smile, eating another chip and trying to forego the whole cookie-stealing behind "Let's go eat some of those and watch TV" she picks another bag of fries from the pile and steals the soda from their hands, moving to the living room.

"It's like our friendship is entirely based on pain and mocking" they exclaim from the kitchen, while she settles again in the couch but they appear again with another can in their hand and Carmilla is pretty sure that both understand that and like it for the same reasons "Now, give me space, Ghost-whisperer"

Carmilla chokes on a sip of grape soda and can't help but laugh.

 

* * *

 

 

Later, when Lafontaine finally leaves her alone after munching on unhealthy snacks that Perry would not approve of, Carmilla moves from the documentaries section on Netflix to the series, hoping to kill some time, when suddenly the unsolicited resident ghost appears.

“What are we watching?” Laura asks, floating in a sitting position with her legs crossed, just beside Carmilla. “Can I suggest Harry Potter?”

Carmilla turning to look at the blonde, who is grinning innocently, can't help but say with a raised brow ”First of all, Harry Potter? Really, cupcake?”

The ghost smirks instead of blushing and Carmilla sightly frowns, she was expecting red not smug.

“Really, Carmilla?” Laura replies, looking way too satisfied with her words “All that _judging_ seems rich coming from someone who used to call me Dobby and has all the books in a box under her bed, don't you think?” the blonde finishes with a shrug, entirely too innocent.

Carmilla gapes for a second but recovers quickly.

“So, you steal food, stalk me and check my stuff too?” Carmilla fires back, dejecting the dig about Harry Potter because yes, she may have the books under her bed in a box labelled “ _some crap_ ” but she is no fan of it, the books are just there, a gift from Will as a joke, she read like one, maybe two and then got bored quickly “Seems like someone is obsessed with me” Carmilla comments casually, trying to take the attention away from Harry Potter and whatever else Laura could have seen in that box.

Laura blushes as much as ghost can do, making Carmilla smirk in satisfaction.

Now,  _that_ was what she was expecting.

“O-Okay no!” Laura defends instantly “the food part was because I was angry at you and wanted to give you a lesson, totally my fault, but the other two things were an accident!” she says with a pout.

Carmilla snorts unattractively, takes the remote again and starts searching for something to watch “Yeah, you casually heard my conversations and fell under my bed and accidentally checked all my stuff” She moves her other hand in dismissal “Add 'bad liar' to your ghost resume and leave the cookies in their place again if you want redemption”

“There is no such thing as a “ghost resume”” Laura replies quoting with her fingers the “ghost resume” and then crossing her arms like a child “And I won't give you back those cookies, until you treat me with the respect I deserve!”

Carmilla finally decides for Jessica Jones and clicks on it “Cookies aren't expensive” she says before moving in a comfortable position “I can afford buying more”

“Or you could treat me with respect and get those back for free, you know? Because I'm a ghost and could make your life hell If I wanted”

“Meh” Carmilla shrugs in dismissing, teasing “I really could use a trip to the store” she starts to listen out all the things that her refrigerator should but doesn't have and Laura huffs in resignation.

She wins the argument and Laura shuts her mouth, but doesn't disappear, instead, seeming interested in the show and Carmilla thanks whatever deity out there that there are things to distract Laura.

Although, Carmilla tries her best to ignore the ghost after that, Laura can't help but comment all along the first episode and she isn't sure if the ghost's new idea it's to annoy her or Laura is just like this. Carmilla is almost sure that Laura has “annoying” as default and talking a lot is just her nature.

“You could be easily her” the blonde comments halfway the second episode.

“Is this your way of giving me a compliment, cupcake?” Carmilla replies, failing at her own game of Let's-Ignore-The-Ghost-Beside-Me, yet again.

The ghost rolls her eyes. “Not really, I'm merely pointing out that you both seem to share some tendencies and that you could easily replace that character”

Carmilla turns back to the TV “Can't see it”

Laura jumps in indignation and Carmilla watches out of the corner of her eye with rapture as she goes on a rant “Come on! You both are all-mysterious, broody and dark and-like introverted people who lurk and act all _I-don't-care-about-people_ but yet have friends that you really care about!” the blonde stops abruptly and then adds as an afterthought “also both of you like black clothes”

Carmilla quirks her eyebrows because, apparently, Laura observes her more than she knows.

But even if Carmilla agrees with some of those things, she can't let her know.

“Nope, can't see it, like at all"

Laura glows at her “You are _pretty_ infuriating, do you know know that?” she comments, looking at her intently.

“Right back at you, sister” Carmilla counters back with a half smile.

Laura opens her mouth in offence and then tries to push at her shoulder but instead trespasses Carmilla's body with her hand, making Carmilla shiver at the sensation.

After a weird second of contact, Laura floats away and off the couch.

“ _What the fuck was that_?” Carmilla asks, standing up and rubbing her arms. She feels cold _and_ warm at the same time- How can _that_ be possible?

“I-I was just trying to push your arm! You know in a p-playful way” Laura replies. She hides behind a hand that doesn't nothing to hide the embarrassment her face shows and it makes Carmilla chuckle and distract her from the shivering and fever that her body experiences “But I forgot about that little detail for a second-”

“The little detail that _you can trespass bodies_?” Carmilla's sarcasm makes Laura even redder if possible "Everyone knows that ghosts can do that- What kind of ghost forgets that?” Laura is definitely the worst ghost that Carmilla has seen in her life. Not that she has seen a lot of them but Laura for sure is the worst.

“I'm sorry” Laura shakes her head and becomes a blur of movement.”I-I'm still getting used to-I- that's-that's all” she looks sad and nervous and Carmilla can't help but feel empathy. _Damn feelings_ "I didn't mean to- I wasn't thinking-"

“Hey, no, I'm sorry for teasing you" Carmilla puts her hands up to make the ghost notice her. She succeeds when Laura stops shaking her head and becomes silent, Carmilla tries to smile but it looks more like a grimace. “It's whatever, really”

“R-really?” Laura sniffs. 

Carmilla shrugs trying to dismiss what happened, even if the sensation still has her skin tingling 'This gets weirder the more time I spend with her'she thinks  'at least, she doesn't read minds or this could get even weirder"

They both go quiet for a whole minute.

Laura is still blushing when she speaks again.

“You are actually the first human I've made contact with” the ghost confesses, looking at the ground “And since, you know, there aren't any books such as _How to Ghost for Dummies_ waiting for you” Carmilla chuckles at that and Laura looks up quickly and continues with a shy smile “I don't really know much about being one”

Carmilla smiles back “I kind of- caught that when you sprayed my bathroom with apple scent”

“Yeah..I know I suck at being scary” Laura drawls with embarrassment “So, I didn't know that _that_ would happen- my intention was really to just bop your shoulder” her cheeks seem no never stop being in flames and Carmilla can't stop watching her with a little of wonder, Laura intrigues her, even if she is ridiculous.

She is really ridiculous.

And so she tells her.

“You are ridiculous” Carmilla says out loud while laughing quietly “The most ridiculous p-” she catches herself before fucking up “-piece of ghost I have ever encountered in my life, for sure”

Laura laughs with her, looking less upset “You haven't really seen any other ghost in your life, right?”

Her smile is pretty.

Her laugh is infectious _._

Carmilla wants her to stop doing and being all that because this is starting to feel like too much.

“Not really” she concedes with a half smile, trying to ignore the feelings going around her body. 'She's a ghost, for fucks sake, Carmilla, don't do this to yourself'

And she turns to the TV but a sudden thought plagues her mind and makes her look quickly back at Laura “ _Hey_ ” Carmilla asks, returning her gaze to the TV and trying to not sound so interested “I have a question”

Laura encounters back with a teasing voice “Are you going to ask me where I go when i'm not here? Because I honestly don't know where is it and how it's called, like at all”

“Damn and here I was expecting to hear some good tale about a secret ghost world”

Laura giggles and Carmilla breathes out.

That wasn't the question on her mind. _Like. At. All._  

They watch for a few more minutes until Carmilla feels sure enough to try again.

“Actually” Carmilla bites her lip and pauses the episode, taking a deep breath “I wanted to know why you tried to scare me" she lets out quietly, trying to not disrupt the mood more than this question will do.

She looks at Laura, who is staring at her hands with interest before looking back up.

“I don't really know” Laura answers in whisper and then erupts in giggles “I guessed that that was my mission when I realized that I was a ghost”

“You thought that scaring people was your new goal?” Carmilla asks with a chuckle “God, I do hope that's untrue because you are way too cute to scare someone away”

She looks at the ghost and Laura is blushing in that light way that makes her look more present.

“Hmmmmm” Laura hums. “Well” her voice cracks and she clears her throat “Maybe they really should consider making a book for beginners, perhaps I'm not the only one lost about the real purposes of ghosts"

Carmilla resumes the episode in the TV to have something else to put her attention to.

“They really should” she agrees.

They watch the episode til the end and by then Carmilla's eyes are almost closing by their own.

“Are you sleepy, Carmilla?” Laura asks gently and it's almost angelic.

“No” she answers, barely keeping her eyes open.

Laura giggles quietly. “Goodnight, Carmilla”

 

* * *

 

 When Carmilla wakes up in the morning, there is a throw-over from her bed spread over her body, the TV is off and a package of cookies is resting in the coffee table.

She smiles happily but then frowns.

The warm feeling, the smile- _all of it. oh no._

_She can't have a crush on a fucking ghost._

_Thats ridiculous._

 


	2. ginger(s)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Carmilla tries to talk about her problems.  
> Laura meets Perry? (kind of)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is just something to move along to the big things that are coming, so please do not get bored, okay?
> 
> Disclaimer: English is not my first language, everything is my fault.

“-And I think that was the last time that I consumed more than a pound of chocolate in one night-  _hey_ , Carmilla, are you listening?”

Carmilla nods her head and grunts, keeping her eyes on the book that she has on her lap.

Laura blinks back at her, for a few seconds, before speaking again.

“If I'm boring you, then say it” Laura requests amicable, floating above the couch with her legs crossed in front of her “In fact, you can even say a joke about me boring you to death”

“You are kidding right? Your eating habits were atrocious enough to explain like half of your personality, this is far from boring” Carmilla replies looking up from the book with a smirk.

And Laura gasos, quickly flinging the pillow from her side of the couch to Carmilla's head, resulting in the dark haired woman dropping the book to the ground.

“ _Hey!_ ”

"You were being mean” Laura says with a shrug.

Carmilla sighs and concedes “Okay, you are a lot of things but boring isn't one of them, happy?”

And it's true.

It's not that Carmilla is bored, because let's face it, that was a goddamn story involving a fucking lot of chocolate, tons of vomit and a stomach wash, who could get bored?

But it's rather the myriad of feelings swirling around in Carmilla's body that distract her from Laura's words. Those feelings she won't address in any future moment.

“What is it then? You seem really distracted” Laura asks concerned.

“Work” Carmilla improvises swiftly, playing with the hem of her white shirt.

Laura asks confused “You work?”

“Something like that” with her answer being a little cryptically, Carmilla cringes at the poor attempt.

“Something like that?” Laura repeats.

Carmilla huffs and crosses her legs in front of her, scratching her neck.

“I...It's kind of hard to explain”

Laura giggles.

“Well, if you haven't noticed before-” she disappears for a second and comes back "-I´m dead and have lots of free time to kill - pun intended- so try me”

Carmilla considers the girl sitting -floating-beside her and quirks her lips slightly before speaking “If I tell you about this, will you tell me how did you become a ghost?”

“Carmilla, I've told you before that I don't remember it” Laura explains with a tired sigh.

“Sorry” Carmilla accepts, knowing full well that Laura is saying the truth.

The dark haired woman decides that maybe talking about her problems for once, it's a good idea, even if the other one listening is a ghost.

“I own a company” Carmilla confesses, feeling relieved for some reason when all Laura does is quirk her brows at the information “But it's complicated”

“It's complicated that you own a company?” Laura inquires with a teasing smile.

With a huff, Carmilla tries again “It's…. just complicated”

“Let me guess” Laura hums, stroking her chin with a thinking face “So- since you said owner, the papers are still on your name but there's someone else over there taking the decisions and being the almighty boss or not?”

 “Pretty much” Carmilla confirms with an impressed nod.

 Laura beams for a second and then goes back to her thinking face that Carmilla finds adorable and annoying, all in one.

“And well” The blonde continues “considering how much time you spend in here doing nothing- I'm going to assume that you aren't in charge of anything anymore, right?”

Carmilla rises her brows mockingly at the obvious “Wow, you could make a good interviewer, even have your own TV show called “ _Interview With The Ghost_ ” get famous, have money, buy your own building and go live there, don't you think?” her voice a little affected by the correct assumptions.

Laura scrunches up her face at her words but quickly smothers it back, ignoring her “The only part left to connect of this story is the reason why arent you the one directing your own company” she points out.

And Carmilla instantly shuts up, while her face turns sour, of course she would go there.

Laura, in the other hand, grins smugly.

“What did you do?” the blonde asks, almost whispering in secret “I promise I won't alert the media about it”

Standing up from the couch, Carmilla decides that she is done with this conversation and more than ready for alcohol “Wouldn't you like to know huh?”

When she enters the kitchen, Laura is already floating above the counter with her legs crossed.

 “Uh yeah? That's why I asked” the ghost replies.

Carmilla ignores her, instead, openinh the pantry to take out a bottle of rum and then another cabinet for a glass and the freezer for some ice.

“Aren't we thirsty tonight?” the ghost comments over the sound of alcohol being poured and the silence of the kitchen 

“You have no idea” Carmilla concedes, filling the glass to the rim, trying to not think anymore.

“I assume, no more work talk?”

But her mind keeps on going.

“No more talk, at all” she says with finality.

Laura pouts and there is a glint in  her eye as she looks at her but Carmilla doesn't fall for it and just stares back in silence til the  ghost gets it.

“You are no fun”

And then disappears, leaving Carmilla to think and drink alone in the kitchen.

It's not as great as she thought it was going to be and when she is starting to feel the buzz, a little part of herself admits missing the company of Laura.

She quickly shuts down that thought by downing what's left of her drink and moving to the couch to resume her reading.

Laura does not appear again that night.

 

* * *

A knock wakes her up.

Carmilla looks over at the clock above the TV and groans.

She was supposed to clean her apartment before Perry and Laf came over her apartment for the lunch Perry was going to prepare but, of course, last night drinking put her off schedule.

How long would it take to clean this place anyway?

“Are you planning on opening the door any time soon, Carmilla?” Suddenly, Laura spoke very loudly, appearing just above the coffee table in all her ghostly glory with a bright smile.

“Fuck!” Carmilla exclaims in surprise, jumping away from the couch and landing on the floor "Announce yourself before talking, asshole!”

 Laura giggles.

“ _Carmilla? Are you there, honey? I heard some noise, hopefully that wasn't you!_ ”

“ _Hopefully_ ” Laura repeats with mirth “I mean- what could do the universe without the grand Carmilla Karnstein?”

“Ha ha” Carmilla replies sourly and rubs her butt while standing up “Don't you have anyone else to bother today?”

Laura shrugs with a half smile “Not really” she taps her chin and adds thoughtfully “The fact that I can only appear in this apartment is really restringing to my avid life as a social ghost, if we are being honest”

“You can only appear here?” Carmilla asks and furrows her brows, still rubbing the part affected by the fall “What do you mean by that? And what happens when you aren't here?”

“ _Carmilla, as much as I love appreciating the fine design of your door from outside, please open the door, we are carrying food with us_ ”

"Seems like you're in trouble”  Laura deflects, still floating above the coffee table.

“We'll talk about this later” Carmilla promises with a raised finger, walking with her back to the door and not taking her eyes off Laura, who seems to accept it with a smile.

And then disappears.

Carmilla turns around and opens the door to find her two friends looking freshly faced with more food in their arms that is enough for the three of them.

“I bet we just woke you up” Lafontaine greets her, carrying a big pot in their hands and passing directly to the kitchen.

“Guilty as charged” Carmilla confesses and then greets the only ginger left outside the apartment “Hey, Perr”

“Good afternoon, Carmilla, may you direct me to the kitchen?”  Perry greets back with a tight smile, probably wanting to comment on her state but saving it for later.

“Of course, follow me”

Both walk into the kitchen to find Lafontaine, already drinking one of Carmilla's grape sodas and sitting in the breakfast table.

“Hey, where's ghostly Laura? You haven't whinned about little Miss Mischief yet” they ask excitedly, moving away when their girlfriend hush them away from the table to put the bags she is carrying. “Sorry, babe”

Carmilla quirks her brows when she notices that the kitchen looks cleaner that she left it last night and sends a mental note to thank Laura when she appears again.

Maybe, Laura hearing her conversations isn't as bad as she thought.

“I don't know where she is” she answers honestly, passing her finger over the counter and nodding in appreciation.

“Dear, who is ghostly Laura?” Perry requests, already cutting vegetables in a cutting board.

Carmilla glances at Lafontaine, who challenges her back with a look.

“Her girlfriend” Lafontaine replies, drinking a sip of soda and watching her reaction.

_That bastard-_

“You didn't tell me you were dating again, Carmilla” Perry congratulates her, turning around swiftly to flash a smile and then going back to her vegetables wirh way more enthusiasm that anyone would put in cutting vegetables “That's great!”

Lafontaine gives her a thumbs up and Carmilla tries to smack their head but they move away from her reach before she can do it.

She sighs with exasperation and tries to explain “It's not like that, she-”

Lafontaine interrupts again from the other her side of the counter “Babe, she even lives here, they are kind of roommates, we should invite her”

 _“What? Roommates_? And you didn't tell me, sweetie?” Perry gasps dramatically, chopping faster and sending a quick betrayed look to Carmilla “Thank God, we have enough food for four”

Carmilla waits for Perry to turn around and catches Laf by the arm and whacks them in the head with a cucumber. They finally drop that smile to frown in clear pain.

“Uh no, Perry, she isn't my girlfriend” Carmilla replies quickly, kicking Laf in the leg for that one, she breathed out before giving in “However, she does _kind_ of live here-”

“Well, if she lives here we still should invite her to eat with us then!” Perry says like it's obvious that everyone is invited to their little lunch.

Carmilla groans, dropping the cucumber in the table and rubbing her neck. It's obvious that she has to say the truth or Perry will feel bad for not inviting Laura.

“Actually" She confesses in her most casual voice "don't freak out, Perry, but Laura...she's kind of a ghost-”

A silence falls onto the litchen.

“A ghost?!” Perry screeches, dropping the knife she was holding and turning around from the counter to look at both of them with crazed eyes “What do you mean with ghost? There's a ghost in this apartment?!?”

“Yeah, she's harmless though” Carmilla moves and tries to calm her down, talking softly “A totally friendly, not vengeful, anthropomorphic ghost”

“She also moves stuff around and likes to plays jokes” Lafontaine assures her, still rubbing their head from the cucumber assault.

Perry looks even more freaked if the size of her eyes is anything to go by.

"Stop freaking her out, you idiot” Carmilla reprimands the other ginger in the room. She groans and pinches her nose “Would you feel better if she showed up and talked with you to assure you how harmless she is?”

"Perhaps?” Perry says  with a frantic nod "I mean, it would help a little -maybe"

“Okay” Carmilla accepts, passing her hand through her hair and exhaling deeply.

_How is she going to even do this?_

She looks back at Lafontaine, who looks excited and ready to piss their pants and it occurs to her, of course, they did that so this could happen.

She absolutely hates them.

“Laura, remember what we talked about earlier?” Carmilla says looking at the ceiling, feeling rather ridiculous but what else is new since she started living here? “Well, your social life would really improve if you could show up and present yourself to my friends, don't you think?”

A beat passes.

And then nothing.

Lafontaine groans, “You didn't tried hard enough”

“What else I'm even supposed to say? 'hey _Laura, wanna eat the wonderful food my friend made, oh wait, you can't, because you're a fucking ghost'_ ” Carmilla mocks, shaking her head in disbelief.

"Maybe she's shy” Perry nods convinced of her words, making her curls bounce with her movement.

Carmilla snorts and crosses her arms “Yeah, no, pretty sure she isn't, I would know because I live with her"

“Then maybe she doesn't like us being in here” Perry adds, moving the neck of her green turtleneck aside anxiously “I, too, would be bothered by unexpected visits”

Carmilla bangs her head in the cabinet next to her.

This is impossible.

“Well, that isn't a hundred percent lie” A fourth voice pipes in, making Carmilla instantly open her eyes and see Laura in all her ghostly fashion, floating just in front of the three of them. “I mean- yeah, unexpected visits who really likes them I'm right?”

 _"Woah_ ” Lafontaine exclaims in awe.

And Perry straight up faints.

 

* * *

 

“Again, I am really sorry for showing up like that” Laura pleads with cheeks tinted in red, floating beside the couch as they watch over Perry “I didn't mean for that to happen”

 Yeah, no biggie, it's not like the first time it has happened” Lafontaine assures her, stroking the cheek of their girlfriend, who is still fall asleep in the couch. “Even though it's the first time it has happened because of a ghost, so kudos to you, Casper”

Laura somehow blushes even deeper and Carmilla snickers from the other side of the couch, where she is sitting at, instantly getting a dirty look from the blonde.

“When do you think she will wake up?” Laura asks, looking still guilty.

“In a minute or so, it's just the shock of it, that's all” Lafontaine informs her with a half smile.

Laura grimaces.

“Hey, I forgot” Laf offers the hand not stroking Perry's hair and smiles “nice meeting you, I'm Lafontaine, best friend of this one over here” they point to Carmilla.

“Don't believe a word they say, creampuff” Carmilla pipes in from her spot. “I barely know them”

“Well, hi, I'm Laura” Laura greets back, giggling “Carmilla's kind of against-her-will-roommate” she notices the hand being offered and giggles even more “And yeah, no, I can't do that”

"I expected that you couldn't” Lafs accepts with a excited nod. “I do have tons of questions about it-”

Perry starts to stirs and Laf instantly embraces her.

“- but for later, when my girlfriend isn't freaking out, okay?” they whisper with excitement.

“Okay, Lafontaine” Laura agrees with a quiet voice.

Carmilla watches the scene intently and can't feel but frown.

If having a crush on Laura was bad, Laura being friends with Lafontaine was next thing to cathartic.

“W-what happened?” Perry rasps, opening her eyes and looking everywhere.

Laura moves instantly away from the couch and over the coffee table, all the way to the other side of the room.

“You are alright, sweetie” Lafontaine explains quietly, touching her forehead “You met Laura and fainted”

“I'm really sorry if that counts?” Laura intercedes from the other side of the room with sorrow “I didn't want to scare you, that really wasn't my intention”

Perry turns her head to the source of the voice and just gapes back at her for a few seconds before speaking.

“Apology accepted, now if you excuse me” Perry says with a tight smile “I have a meal to prepare” and so, she stands up, a little wobbly and walks into the kitchen, leaving three confused expressions.

“Your girlfriend scares me” Carmilla comments over the silence, standing up.

"The two of us, buddy” Lafontaine agrees, also standing up and scratching their head. “Guess, lunch isn't cancelled, huh?”

“Guess not” Carmilla nods.

Laura floats until she is standing beside the two of them. "Even I'm a little confused with that and I'm the one who is a ghost”

“Good point” Carmilla comments.

“Really good” Lafontaine says too.

“ _Will any of you come and help me or i'll have to ask Laura to come back from death to do so_?”

The three of them stare at each other strangely, before two of them walk to the kitchen to help and the third one disappears and appears there, causing Perry to jump and knock over the cutting board with the vegetables.

Perry makes Laura promise to never appear like that again and then assigns her to set the table. Laura accepts with a smile and Carmilla groans mentally for liking how much her friends like Laura. 

Why does she care so much?

 _Because you have a crush on her_  says a voice in her mind and Carmilla hates how much sense it does.

"Carmilla, stop gazing lovingly at Laura and pass me the lettuce please"  Lafontaine says, suddenly breaking her away from her mind.

Carmilla almost throws it to their head, if not for Perry telling her to not fall into their games and scolding them.

Luckily, for her, Laura was too occupied setting the table to notice.

It's almost comical to see a ghost setting the table, Carmilla realizes, it makes her seem more real, alive... but is never enough.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so, that was not so bad hopefully?  
> keep tuned to find out more about this ridiculous au!


	3. hardly present

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Meanwhile, Laura starts to open up a little but not enough, Carmilla is choking up with feelings that are making everything harder for her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> College is not giving me a hard time, I just suck at keeping up with this and managing my time.  
> Sorry.  
> But here is it!  
> Enjoy a mess that I wrote and did not check at all for mistakes, totally un-proud of it!

Okay- so it's not that she doesn't like having her friends over but it's tiring- and with Laura present? It's  _exhausting._

 _Who would have known?_ Carmilla says to herself, scoffing. _The happiest sunshine in ghost form and two gingers in love, it's her own fault for having connections with those people..and spirit._

Although, Perry trying to engage her ghostly roommate in conversation is certainly amusing to watch, seeming as the redhead just wants to maintain it in simple topics like food and the preparing of it, while blatantly ignoring the big elephant in the room, trying to evade it, at all costs, even if Laura is floating right in front of her eyes, smiling back at her in her ghostly state, Perry talking to her like she's alive, it's amusing.

It's not really that bad.

Until Lafontaine, sitting beside Perry and in front of her in the table, starts to tease Carmilla firing out of context suggestion after out of context suggestion about her and Laura and Laura too naive to catch on it, frowns back at them and corrects them about it, making them grin even bigger, meanwhile Carmilla plans murder and pain for them, but for now, just settles in kicking their leg under the table repeatedly.

Her only consolation is that they don't ask any more questions about Laura, seeming to respect Perry's wish to keep it normal for the duration of the lunch and per se no more freak outs happen, while Laura remains giddy and happy the entire time.

Later they promise a visit for a full interview and some sampling in a whisper to her, at which Laura laughs a little too hard.

_Poor thing doesn't know what is coming._

And, of course, before they walk out from her apartment, Carmilla observes if Perry is watching before hitting Lafontaines head with an umbrella resting beside the umbral of the door.

Because they _so_ deserve that.

 

* * *

By the time the duo is gone, Carmilla is exhausted and it is barely after 3 pm.

“You were right, Carmilla!” Laura says with huge smile, floating above the couch with her legs crossed and almost buzzing with energy. “I liked talking with your friends, both of them are really nice!”

 _At least, Laura is happy, that counts_ _, right?_ Carmilla thinks to herself with a half smile, sighing.

“You sure? I thought they were going to annoy you to a second death” Carmilla tries, taking a seat in the couch.

“Nope, not really” Laura denies, shaking her head. Then she makes a thinking face and shrugs dismissively “I mean, it was kind of weird having to explain so many times to Perry that I couldn't eat the food she made, because” Laura makes a _duh_ face and giggles “But yeah, no, they are great, I'm glad you let me meet them”

Carmilla bites her lip to not smile at the cuteness that is Laura in this moment.

_What is wrong with she?_

“I'm glad that you like them because they are kind of, always around” Carmilla says, making a face of disgust “Like annoyingly so, eventually you'll get sick of them”

Laura tils her head to look at her with squinted eyes “Must be nice” she exhales, floating down until she is almost sitting in the couch with her head posed in the back. “That says that they care a lot about you, you know? friends who do that, usually do or so i've heard”

Carmilla scrunches her browns slightly “You didn't have of those?” The dark haired woman asks, moving her head til is resting in the couch and she is looking sideways at her company, mirroring her position “I pictured you as a person with tons of friends, if we are being honest”

And the air starts to feel heavy.

Laura sighs, in what Carmilla feels like longing “ _I'm not_ \- I wasn't much of a social butterfly back then” she confesses, playing with her fingers and looking at them intently, suddenly becoming quite quiet “As much as I wanted to have friends, truly good friends, like the kind that last forever and you eventually grow old together with, it seemed like I had a talent to annoy people and no one stuck around for long” she puts a piece of her hair behind her ear and bits her lip before continuing in almost a whisper “I- I didn't have many friends while in college or after, not really”

Carmilla shakes her head with an incredulous laugh, not really believing what she's hearing.

_She may be a little overbearing but a decent person to relationate nonetheless, what is wrong with people?_

“Friends are overrated, anyway” she swallows a sense of protectiveness that surges after Laura's words and tries to not sound so bitter “Believe it or not, the Gingers were met and befriended by accident, not because I choose to” she says trying to divert Laura from her mood.

“How so?” The blonde asks, lighting up a little bit.

Pretending to be bothered to tell the story, Carmilla starts with a disgruntled voice and a pained expression that is more than practiced “Perry had a bakery- well, she still _has_ it” she points out, watching as Laura seems engrossed in her words, she continues in the same monotonous voice “but back then, it wasn't as big as now. And that's why, she made the decision to search ways to get more money to rebuild the place and everything. And back then, I was still - _you know_ \- working and directing my own thing” she grimaces at the mention of her company but continues “someone, I don't know who or care who, under my command made the decision to hire her to do the catering for my company, resulting in me falling in love with her pastries as all I did at those events was ignore everyone and eat in silence while hiding behind a cup of fine wine” she shrugs and rolls her eyes in fake pretense “One day, I met her at one of the parties and congratulated her for her dedication and work, and offered to be partner in business- resulting in us being friends along the way, I guess”

Laura pauses and squints her eyes at her.

“Wait- you gave her money without knowing her?” she asks in awe.

Carmilla grimaces and flicks an invisible hair from her t-shirt, diverting her eyes “No, I wanted to be _part of_ her business, cupcake” she corrects with a scoff “It was a coincidence that the money would help her pay the reconstruction of the old store- I mean, why I would want to give money away to a stranger? It sounds preposterous”

And is the truth, at least, kind of.

She didn't know at the moment that the money would help Perry so much, Carmilla just offered the check with zeroes in it and then helped Perry come back to her feet when she almost fainted in the middle of the room.

But Laura doesn't seem to believe her.

“C'mon, admit that you are nice and actually a really good person when no one is looking” Laura sing-songs.

“Nah” Carmilla denies with a hand, smirking slightly “I just really liked her pastries and didn't want to pay for those anymore”

“What about Laf?” Laura asks, scrunching her brows “Did you meet them at the same time? Were both of them dating back then?”

_How to forget it?_

“Ugh, no, I met that asshole in the grocery store” she shakes her head at the memory “they bugged me for an entire aisle to ask me where I got the chocolate cereal from” Carmilla remembers with a chuckle and then grins “Then one day, I enter the bakery and they were flirting with Perry, who was behind the counter. I gagged, they said _´hey, cereal girl_ ´ and Perry was like ´ _you two know each other?_ ´ at the border of death from embarrassment and confusion, honestly, it's one of my most cherished memories” Carmilla tells her, shaking her head at the ridiculousness of it all.

Laura giggles “I would pay to see that”

Carmilla snorts.

“Yeah, so don't expect some meet cute bullshit or anything, vibes are way more trustworthy in this case- not that I really payed attention to them when meeting the gingers but” Carmilla shrugs “They certainly had a _something_ that told me _´hey, we aren't so bad_ ´”

Laura hums for a whole minute before speaking.

“What vibe I give off then, Carmilla?” Laura asks, looking at Carmilla sideways “If anything you can feel mine, right? So, tell me, what it says about me?”

Her brown eyes are sparkly in all their ghostly glory and Carmilla finds herself lost in them for a few seconds before finding her train of thought again.

Carmilla realizes that their closeness has increased in the meantime that they talked and now, she can notice freckles, ghostly freckles in Laura's cheeks.

_You have the most beautiful presence that i've felt in my life, there's a warm around you that illuminates even the darkest places of one's souls, I-_

“You are _alright_ ” Carmilla dismisses gently, standing up and passing her hand through her hair, trying to shake off every little feeling cursing her mind and body of everything not reachable that is Laura. “I think that i'm going to take a shower, I'm kind of _gross_ ”

She feels gross.

In both, the physical sense and mental.

Even her heart feels sick, all of sudden.

Carmilla walks stiffly to the bathroom with the weight of Laura's eyes in the back of her head the whole time, who doesn't utter a single word back, just stares as she awkwardly moves away from the couch.

And Carmilla knows that the hot water of the shower cannot wash away what she's feeling but she rubs her skin til is red and the water is running cold.

When she finally builds the courage to walk out and check, Laura is gone but the feelings inside of her are as present as unpleasant.

Carmilla sighs with defeat and retreats back to her room, holding the black towel tightly to her chest, while there's still a nagging thought in her mind telling her that she's being foolish.

 

* * *

 

 

 

It's been hours since she has last seen Laura and it makes her wonder how deep is this thing running that she feels bad for what happened earlier. 

And she truly does.

She feels bad for not comforting Laura with her best attempt and words, for not saying what was in her mind even if it was the sappiest thing ever and for not doing anything more than running. 

 _But it's easier this way_ , she thinks sitting in her bed, playing with the hem of her black t-shirt and raking her nails over the material of her grey sweatpants with her other hand, _attaching emotionally with someone so unavailable could be even a bigger mistake than losing a company._

She is doing a favor to both, her and Laura.

It's the best.

Laura is a ghost that lives in her apartment because she can't really go anywhere else and she is a mess trying to find herself again and crushing hard on someone who isn't really alive.

_It's pathetic._

 

* * *

 

 

Carmilla eats an apple and downs half a bottle of scotch for dinner, in front of an episode of Jessica Jones that she doesn't pay attention to and turns off after twenty minutes.

The silence that partakes in the apartment is both unsettling and wrong, and in her inebriated state, Carmilla lets herself recognize that she misses Laura's infinite babbling and her face and presence.

_All of her._

It's stupid, childish and gross

True enough to make her groan out loud for the grossness of it.

 

“You are drunk”

 

Carmilla blinks and looks at the TV pointedly.

_If that is off, who said that? where is that voice coming from?_

 

“You should go to bed because as comfy as that couch is, two nights in a row isn't good for your back, Carmilla”

 

The voice speaks again and Carmilla frowns, holding herself in place.

_That's pretty much Laura's voice but there is no Laura? What kind of deceiving trick is the universe playing on her?_

“Yeah, no, right here is good” she replies, checking around her quickly but she doesn't see anyone. Carmilla scoffs. “You should go to bed, cupcake”

Laura appears suddenly in front of her, looking quieter than usual and a little sheltered, if the crossed arms and pinched expression are anything to go by

“I would do it if I could but now you own my bed, you drunk idiot”  the ghost replies annoyed.

“Come with me then” Carmilla says without thinking, leaving her common sense way behind with her soberness. Her voice deepens on purpose to tease her “I'll go to bed if you come with me”

Even in her inebriated state and the scarce light of the room, Carmilla can distinguish the new colour in Laura's cheeks and it makes her laugh.

“Really?- _We can't even touch_ , cupcake” her hand goes to prove the point but stops in mid distance “Are you seriously having thoughts about it? Is that really a thing happening right now?”

“No” Laura denies, shaking her head, evidently trying to maintain her ground “You are being a jerk”

“Although, the best kind of” Carmilla replies drunkenly, standing up and deciding to follow the suggestion of going to bed, since Laura is right and her back will not accept another night of sleeping on the couch without cramping or hurting.

“Oh yeah, totally forgot about the company, ex-CEO of Jerk corp”” Laura mocks her, following her quietly behind when she starts to stumble her way to the room.

“Ugh, don't mention _that”_ Carmilla implores, almost hitting her leg with a little table but missing it miraculously after it moves away. “ _Wow- did you see that crap?_ ” she asks in shock, turning around to gaze at her ghostly company, who snickers and shakes her blonde hair with a movement of her head.

“Must be magic” Laura assures with big eyes, biting her lip.

“Wait” Carmilla opens her mouth offended “You did that, you asshole!?”

“Yeah or else you would've hurt yourself!” Laura confesses, holding her stomach and laughing freely. “Although, that was pretty funny!”

Carmilla scoffs in offense, pouts without realizing and resumes her walk to her bed “Taking advantage of my inebriated state to mock me, its mean and totally unexpected from you” she walks what's left to her bed and drops face first in it. “Be ashamed” she tries to say against the material of the cobertor but it's muffled by the fabric.

There's no dip in the bed, no new weight but she feels the presence of Laura besides her in the bed and she smiles drunkenly taking advantage that Laura can't see her.

Its nice to have her by her side.

“Well, excuse me for not living to the high expectations that are attributed to me, then” Laura declares somewhere above her and Carmilla knows that she must be smiling because she can hear it in her words.

Carmilla chuckles.

_Her smile is so pretty._

Suddenly, Carmilla turns around and lays back in the bed, crossing her arms under her head and watching the ceiling intently, trying to fight the urge to look at the blonde.

“Nah, as the biggest failure in this room, and perhaps, the world, don't apologize for not meeting expectations” her voice lacks the usual sarcasm and she knows that it must be the liquor hitting particularly hard at this moment “Just meet your own-  just met those and check from time to time if they are attainable to begin with”

A beat passes.

Silence.

The silence in the room is different with Laura by her side and Carmilla shakes her head to herself.

_She is so utterly screwed._

After a few more seconds, Laura exhales shakily, making Carmilla look at her.

“Wow- and here I was expecting a joke” The ghost nods slowly, blinks a few times, before speaking again “But you are quite the wisdom fountain while drunk, it seems”

“It's not- It's not wisdom, it's just-” Carmilla shrugs helplessly, trying to separate her thoughts and make sense of them, _this got deep very quickly_ “We spend way too much of our lives caring about expectations without realizing how much they limit our experience in this realm called life” she blinks at Laura, who just stares back at her in silence, so she continues softly “by the time, we find what- or _who_ makes us happy, it's already too late to even enjoy it”

The bed squeaks as she moves her head a little higher in the bed and Carmilla breathes out slowly trying to calm her racing heart.

While, Laura is quiet for a few seconds, just staring back at her in silence, before she shakes her head slowly.

“And what you have to say for the ones who didn't have the time?” Her voice is strained, she looks over to the wall at the other side of Carmilla and seems to wait for something. For a reply, perhaps.

But Carmilla just stares in silence so Laura can continue, it seems like something important is going to happen.

Laura deserves to speak and be heard.

“You know, from a young age, I never limited myself to expectations from anyone, not from my dad, not from my peers at school, not from anyone” Laura confesses, maintaining her eyes far away from Carmilla ”But yet, one day I was walking down to my job, trying to find a life, something or someone who made me happy and suddenly, the next day I didn't remember a thing and I was- _this_ ” she gestures to herself and her blonde hair moves as she shakes her head again “and I know deep down that it wasn't my time yet”

And Laura lets out a sad laugh.

“So, tell me- _what about me?_ Is there something to say about not living to expectations from a young age and still losing the chance of having it all before even meeting it?” Laura asks, locking her eyes with Carmilla's drunken ones.

Carmilla didn't mean for her words to remember Laura of her misery.

She would never want to cause her any pain to begin with.

“Just that life isn't fair” Carmilla replies, watching the angry tears starting to descend ghostly cheeks. “It never is” she says, swallowing her want to embrace Laura in her arms and stroking her hair because is yet another thing she can't do.

_Life truly sucks._

Laura sobs and Carmilla closes her eyes forcefully “Wanna talk about that?” she asks, opening them again and trying to convey to her company that there are still parts of her that are willing to help with the pain or at least, hear about it.

The blonde blinks back at her “Wanna talk about your company?” she fires back, moving her tears away with the sleeve of her ghostly arm and then sighing “Sorry, I- I didn't mean to snap, I-...”

“Not ever” Carmilla confirms with a sour face, accepting the apology with a nod before sighing deeply “But it's foolish to think that we can live our lives without facing what we don't want to face”

Laura laughs quietly, her voice strained.

“Pretty ironic, I already ran out of life to talk about things I don't want to talk about, Carmilla”

 _You are haunted by matters of death and that makes you still alive to me._ Carmilla thinks, swallowing the shock of the bubbling realization that Laura is alive to her, sometimes even more alive than herself.

“Wanna talk about anything else then?” She says instead, rolling in her side and watching Laura intently. “You should take advantage of the fact that i'm still drunk while it lasts”

Laura rolls in her side too, her voice tired but more composed “I really should, shouldn't I?”

“I mean, drunk me is probably the best me to talk to” Carmilla adds with a half smile, extending her hand to where one of Laura's hand is resting and watching her less guarded than usually “Less sarcastic, way more wordy and nicer”

Laura extends her fingers but maintains the distance of their hands.

“You forgot wiser” she breathes out, watching their hands just as intently.

“Mh no, I'm pretty sure i'm always wise” Carmilla remarks playfully, watching Laura's face and lifting the corner of her mouth, still moving her hand closer.

Laura snorts but it lacks any commitment “Stay humble”  

Their fingers are suddenly millimeters away and Carmilla opens her mouth in awe by the energy she feels cursing through her body to the tip of every single finger.

Her voice is somehow taken back by the show that both of them are in front of when she asks “Do you feel _that_?”

A sharp intake of breath confirms her thoughts.

 _"Yeah_ ” The blonde confirms with a quiet nod. “I don't really know what is it or if I'm really feeling it but…” she trails off and looks up at Carmilla, for the first time since their hands started to grow closer in distance “I think that I'm feeling too” Laura accepts, smiling back at her.

And Carmilla is glad that they have settled that.

One thing is to have a crush and another is to start imagining energy between the two of them that isn't there.

Although, in her state, Carmilla isn't sure that those two things are really that different.

“I like it” the blonde confesses quietly, watching their hands with a big smile that illuminates the whole room.

 _I like you._  “Yeah, me too” Carmilla says instead, sighing eternally.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yell at me if you want.  
> kudos are also cool beans.


	4. Dear sister

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lafontaine has no boundaries.   
> Laura is nervous.  
> Carmilla is worried.  
> Stuff happens.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> College and other things have been getting in the way but mostly a writers block-anyway this chapter had to be done for the next one to finally shine! sorry if its lame or has way more orthographic faults than usual I didn't pay attention to it tbh.  
> Disclaimer: I suck. English sucks. they lesbian.

Her phone starts to ring somewhere deep in between the sheets of the bed and Carmilla juggles the possibility of letting it go to voicemail, while tightly hugging the pillow under her head but something stops her from doing so- 

_ Someone. _

“ _ Ugh _ , why would you even have that ringtone?” a quiet groan “It's so  _ annoying _ ” 

Carmilla opens her eyes to peek besides her and surely there's Laura, who is floating above the bed with her eyes closed and an expression of rest, pretending to be asleep.

_ Has she been here the whole time...? _

Inadvertently, Carmilla smiles at the image in front of her, that's it, for all of three seconds, before Laura opens her eyes and catches her.

“Watcha´ lookin at _ , Carm _ ?” The ghost asks with a smile of her own, making Carmilla instantly frown and drop the smile.

_ Carm? Seriously? _

But even if she questions the use of the nickname, her hearts skips a beat nonetheless.

Trying to act aloof, Carmilla shakes her head and then replies with a scoff “You were drooling, Casper” before furrowing her hand in between the sheets and taking out the cellphone, trying to ignore the warm feeling burning up her face.

Looking at the screen and realizing who is it, she looks at the hour in the nightstand before answering with as much bite as she can muster “Jesus Fuck! It's not even 9 am- are you trying experiments on yourself again?”

“ _ Good morning, Carmilla! How are you? Fine, yeah, I'm also fine, thanks for asking” _

Carmilla ignores the rest and drawls  _ “ _ High on caffeine, I see”

_ “More like high on knowledge!-”  _ And that makes her shake her head and block anything else they start talking about.

Suddenly, Laura turns around looking back at Carmilla with shiny eyes “It's that Laf? Tell them I say hi!”

Sighing, Carmilla sits in the bed and crosses one leg over the other with resignation “Laura says hi” she informs them, cutting their rant off.

“ _ Well! tell Laura that I appreciate the fact that she still greets people in the phone because common decency is still important in basic interactions, and secondly, but not less important, where the two of you having a sleepover? _ ” They speak very fastly, sounding way too smug and excited for this early in the morning. 

_ Who are they to talk about common decency?  _ Carmilla thinks, rolling her eyes.

“Don't be an idiot, she just appeared” Carmilla replies, closing her eyes and hoping for a big piano to fall in their head and save her from any further teasing “Now, why you called? And keep it short for the sake of this friendship” 

Meanwhile, Laura moves her hand in front of Carmilla's face for attention and when she gets it, mouths with a frown “ _ you lied” _ to Carmilla, who shakes her head and waves her off.

Lafontaine keeps on talking in the meantime “- _ so, oh yeah! It's hella important!...- is Laura still there? This concerns her, like really so _ ”

“Yeah” Carmilla replies, eyeing the blonde beside her in bed, who turned to look outside the window with a smile, probably observing the street below in the morning. Carmilla smiles briefly before clearing her throat and swallowing the mushy feelings flowing inside her “She is. Why?”

“ _ I need to talk with her, put the cellphone on speaker, Karnstein _ ”

She rolls her eyes since Laura can already hear them but still pushes the button on the screen, letting Lafontaine take upon the otherwise silent room.

“ _ Since Carmilla told me about you, Laura, I've been reading quite a lot about the topic of spirits, ghosts and likewise _ ”

Laura turns around to watch her with a questioning gaze and Carmilla watches her back in silence, nodding to the cellphone in her hand as if saying “ _ I know less than you think about it _ ”

“ _ -I mean _ , _ if i can add _ ,  _ It's actually interesting to investigate something so exploited by pop culture but yet still so uncertain to science in general _ -” 

Carmilla groans loudly “-Give us spark notes of this before I hang up on your ass” she threatens them, clearly annoyed by the oncoming rant, all while maintaining an unwavering gaze on Laura, who seems just as confused as her.

They scoff, apparently offended but still used to their friend antics “ _ Okay so, Laura- I want to corroborate some information because I want to help you, can I ask you a few questions if that's alright with you?”  _

“ _ Kind of? _ ” Laura replies clearly in doubt, looking at the device and then back at Carmilla, who just reacts to shrug and mouth “ _ Its your decision _ ” back to her “It- it kind of depends on what are you going to ask, if I'm being honest” the blonde clarifies.

Carmilla lifts the corner of her mouth to show support and gets back a nervous smile from Laura because i _ t's not like she can hug her or anything... _

“ _ Obviously”  _ they reply eagerly from the other side, making Carmilla tune back _ “if you aren't comfortable with the nature of the question you can let me know, we can stop and change it, okay?”  _ the redhead says from the other side of the phone “ _ I just want to help you, Laura _ ”

“Okay” the ghost replies grinning, making Carmilla lift up the corners of her mouth slightly. Carmilla sighs happily while closing her eyes.

_ “So, Laura, do you remember the circumstances of your death or the time around it?” _

The dark haired woman opens her eyes and scoffs. 

_ That was, for sure, short-lived. _

“Not really” The blonde answers instantly with a quavering voice “It's a-all blurry, there is a blank in my memory about all of- all of that”

“What has that to do with anything, Laf?” Carmilla demands, feeling protective of the girl beside her, who looks notably uncomfortable but still willing to respond. 

_ “And days prior to it? How far back into your old life do you remember?”  _ they ask blatantly ignoring her.

“I remember absolutely everything about my old life” Laura answers with honesty, more easily “everything but the last week of my life that it is just a big mess, all I can remember is going on my way to work and then a violent stop”

“ _ Laf _ ” Carmilla tries again, furrowing her brow.

There's an absence of the voice from the other side, just the sound of a rustle of pages being turned and Carmilla shakes her head feeling helpless.

“ _ Ajá! Found it! _ ” they exclaim triumphally after another minute of silence, before clearing their throat and replying in a hurried voice “ _ In some cases, when people experience a violent event in their last moment of life or minutes, their memory suffers severe damage and after death, the being, in their spectral state maintains the impression of the last moment of life but no memory of it- Laura do you remember any feeling? Maybe a sensation or something?” _

The ghost scratches her head and floats in a cross-legged sitting position above the bed.

Suddenly remembering something, Laura replies in a haste “Wait- I do-I do remember calmness and a soothing voice” she breathes out noticeably and Carmilla watches her, quietly absorbing the fact that Laura still breathes out of habit “ _ like _ -like the kind after they put you to bed and tell you a story when you're a kid? Actually, I don't know if that helps, at all”  __

There's a long humming from the other end of the phone and then they speak.

“ _No no, that actually helps”_ they pause and write something _“ Now tell me, what's your first memory in your current state?”_

“ _ White _ ” Laura replies instantly, looking outside the window, far gone in her own words, she tenses noticeably “White absolutely everywhere, I don't think there's more to it but quickly after a second, I was right here in this apartment” 

Loudly taking notes, they ask with interest  _ “Like a white room?”  _

“ _ Maybe _ ?” Ghostly blonde hair moves in all directions when Laura shakes her head and Carmilla smiles briefly at the action, taking advantage that the subject of her desire is being distracted by a myriad of questions.

_ Just accept it already- you like her.  _

Carmilla can hear the voice of Lafontaine telling her that and she fists the blanket under her, shakes her head and tunes back the interview, ignoring her pounding heart.

_ “Okay, so, where do you go when you're not in the apartment?” _

“I can't go anywhere else- I can just appear here” Laura replies with the same sadness in her voice that when she told Carmilla about her situation last night “When I leave Carmilla alone, I really just make myself invisible and go to other places in the apartment, like the balcony” she explains chuckling sadly but quickly sobering when something visibly crosses her mind and makes her speak with confusion “But there are also-  there are, the rare moments when I feel a pull from inside and I disappear completely from here and go to an entire blackness, those are extremely rare though” Laura explains in a haste.

_ “Can you elaborate more on that?”  _ They request with pointed interest.

Laura breaths out “Well, that place where I go feels like a cage in the dark, sometimes it strangely feels like I'm whole again but trapped inside something, it's really weird” The blonde expresses, scrunching up her face, deep in thought. 

_ “What kind of pull is it? Like a hand reaching for you? Or like something else dragging you in?”  _

The sound of pages being turned returns and Carmilla swallows, dragging Laura eyes back to her “No,  _ it's a sensation _ \- like a burning but powerful pull slowly dragging me in” the blonde clarifies not moving her eyes away from her.

_ “How usual is this again?” _

The ghost closes her eyes and makes a face of doing some hard thinking.

“So far, I've experienced it three times since... _ i'm like this _ ” Laura answers and moves her eyes back to the window when a bird chirps.

Carmilla bites her lip, hearing the murmuring that Lafontaine does to themselves when they are making conclusions, she plays with the end of her white t-shirt and waits for them to reply in silence.

“ _ Okay, Laura, first of all, with all the information I've gathered I've come to the conclusion that there's a huge possibility that your memory loss has to do with some event in the last minutes that you spent inside your body, probably a concussion or something equally as damaging to your hyppocampus” _

Both, Laura and Carmilla still at the information, gazing at each other instantly, showing the weight of the information in their faces and expressions. 

“ _ Secondly”  _ Lafontaine sounds excited and Carmilla wants to reach so hard for the ghostly hand beside her but all she can do is move her own near it and show the intention in her eyes. 

Laura catches the action and tearfully smiles back.

“ _ I don't think that you are dead, Laura”  _

And Laura quickly drops the smile.

“ _ What? _ ” Carmilla asks instantly, dropping the phone on the bed and frowning deeply at it “Are you fucking high?” 

“ _ You know Perry said no more weed in the laboratory since that Yellow thing tried to eat her slippers” _  They reply with a scoff “ _ I swear i'm not fucking high!” _

“Do you really mean it then?” 

Carmilla looks up at Laura and the ghost seems interested in whatever her idiot friend is talking about. 

“ _ Laura- _ ” The dark haired starts but it's quickly interrupted by the ghost.

“Laf” the blonde speaks and her voice doesn't quiver, she seems determined “What makes you believe that I'm not dead?”

 

* * *

 

Instead of replying via cellphone, Lafontaine appears outside the apartment with pages of pages of research after just twenty minutes and Carmilla snorts, before letting them in.   _ Of course they would ditch work to come here. _

They clarify, dropping their files in the coffee table and standing in front of the paused episode of Jessica Jones in the TV   _“_ I've read a medical essay about a guy who woke up from a coma and talked about experimenting out-of-body experiences while he was comatose and honestly, it all sounds like what you described, Laura”

Laura furrows her brows and with incredibility evident in her voice asks “ _ You think that I'm in a coma? _ ” She snorts and sits straighter in the couch “I mean, I don't want to sound rude because you are helping me and all that but-  _ really? A coma? _ ”

Shaking her head, Carmilla tries to maintain herself out of the middle of this conversation but she is with Laura in this one “Yeah, it sounds kind of impossible, Red”

“You two are impossible” the redhead comments with tiredness, their hands on their hips, looking down at the both of them sitting in the couch “Why are you two being this stubborn now?” they point at Laura “You are ghost” and then they point to Carmilla “you are a human that interacts with a ghost, everything is fucking possible”

The blonde laughs before clarifying with defiance in her voice “I would certainly remember being in the hospital!” 

“And you don't accept the idea that there must be a reason why you don't remember it then?” They reply with their hair in their hands, looking helpless.

But suddenly they light up with a smirk and Carmilla squints her eyes at them.

“What if I know someone who could clear this for us?” the redhead states with smugness, moving their hands away from hips and pointing at Laura firmly “Someone who could really help us?”

“Who? A spiritist? A clairvoyant?” Carmilla asks with sarcasm, falling at keeping herself away. She rolls her eyes “Please, that kind of people are full of shit and you know it”

Lafontaine laughs with mirth and then shakes their head fervently.

“I was actually thinking about JP” They reply with a shrug, making Carmilla close her mouth instantly “I mean, hacking the health service must be as easy as entering the government files and looking for a death certificate, right?”

Instantly, the dark haired woman stands up and offers a fist bump to her friend.

Laura asks frowning, still floating above the couch “Wait but- who is JP?”

“JP is Carmilla's older brother” Lafontaine replies with a shrug, still smiling “He is a cool dude, cooler than Will, for sure” 

Before Laura can ask again something about her family, Carmilla enters the conversation.

“And Will is no one” Carmilla quickly clarifies to Laura, avoiding the eyes of Lafontaine “Now, let's call JP and end this soon”

Laura has her own problems to deal with, she doesn't need Carmilla's own problems and messed up family dynamics to know and add to the equation.

Carmilla quickly rings him up and he is instantly up for a coffee with the only condition of having it in a place near his work, since his job as a lawyer, “it's quite limiting to his schedule” at which, Carmilla agrees with just minimal groans and opposition.

When she hangs up, Lafontaine informs them that they have to go back to the laboratory to check on some of their samples and Carmilla swears at them in German before accepting to visit him alone and bidding a goodbye to the redhead.

Meanwhile, she changes clothes, Laura awaits in the corridor.

“Are you and your brother close?” the blonde asks through the door but then sighs loudly before Carmilla can even reply some half-assed answer “I suppose not, since we have been cohabitating for almost a week and you have never mentioned him or anything” 

Carmilla pulls the zipper up of her jeans and bits her lip before whistling sarcastically “We have been living together for less than a week and you already know me that well, huh?” she puts a red flannel over her white tank top and waits for the reply.

“ _ I'm sorry,  _ Carmilla!- I didn't mean to assume- I was just- “

Carmilla grins, shaking her head.

“I was kidding” she offers with a smirk, opening the door and facing the ghost, before walking to the bathroom to apply some make-up “although yeah, you are right, I haven't mentioned him because we aren't close” Carmilla confesses, leaving the bathroom door open for them to make eye contact via the mirror.

“Why not?” Laura asks from outside the bathroom.

Carmilla sighs, closing her eyes and gripping the sink to hold herself.

“ _...It's complicated _ ” she says with a fake smile.

Laura blinks back at her through the reflection of the mirror for a few seconds before speaking again.

“That's your exact reply for everything, Carmilla” The blonde counters back quietly but with determination and crossed arms “I do respect it but I also would like if you stopped preaching about honesty and started really doing it yourself”

_ She isn't wrong. _

Carmilla knows that she is an hypocrite but is hard to change it when all her life lies have been surrounding her and the build of her relationships.

It's easy to fall back into them.

She looks at herself in the mirror for a few seconds before replying.

“He…-” The dark haired woman starts, opening her eyes and looking at the reflection of Laura, in the mirror. Her throat is closing up and her heart beating hard but she should just say it “-I love him,  _ okay _ ? I really do, he is a great brother and all that crap” she confesses, shaking her head and taking a pencil to move her concentration elsewhere. “But our family, has been through a lot” Carmilla breathes out, concentrating in the movements of her own hand and her own face instead of Laura's intense gaze “And love can't fix everything, cupcake”

There's a lull in the conversation and Carmilla uses it to finish her makeup and put on her boots, finishing her process.

“Does he know about the company?” Laura asks sympathetically, standing beside her in the bed.

_ If it were as easy as that... _

“No” Carmilla answers, turning to look at her  “He doesn't” and she walks out the bedroom, taking her wallet and a beanie to wear.

“Will you tell him about it?” Laura asks, following her to the door.

Carmilla shakes her head, taking the knob in her hand “My mission is to help you, cupcake, not myself” she sighs and turns to the door “If anything, there's other time for us to talk about my problems” she opens the door “and hopefully, that time never comes” and that's the last thing she says before walking out the apartment and leaving Laura.

 

* * *

 

Carmilla pushes the cutesy door open and walks inside the coffee shop, wishing to end this soon as she can.

“ _ Milla! _ ” she hears and easily spots him in the table in the far back and shakes her head slightly before walking in his direction. The hug from her brother is inevitable when they find each other, he always has been a hugger and the most affectionate person of her family.

“Hey, scruffy” Hugging him back with a tiny smile and patting his hair down, Carmilla asks fondly “Missed me?”

“Of course!” JP replies with a broad smile, his British accent showing instantly “Seems like someone got way busy with their company to talk with their brother, huh?”

She bites her lip and drops her arms instantly from him, moving away. 

“Actually-” Carmilla shakes her head and fakes a smile “Yeah- it's been crazy” she lies easily with a shrug.

“Knew it” he accepts with a quick nod “At least, you look rested, that's quite neat”

Both sit and almost instantly, a waiter comes up to their table because is truly a fancy place.

Carmilla orders a black coffee and her suit-and-tie brother orders an iced coffee with whipped cream and rainbow sprinkles that makes her chuckle and the waiter quirk her lips in evident amusement.

After a comfortable moment of silence, she decides to break the ice

“Okay, so-” 

“- you need my help, right?” JP interrupts smiling sadly, while tapping the table with his finger and looking away from her “I knew it”

Slightly grimacing, Carmilla replies, looking down at the shiny marble table instead of at her brother “Was it that obvious?” 

“Well, we haven't talked in two months and not for lack of effort of this side, Carmilla” JP notes, not hiding the hurt from his voice. Apart from her friends, he truly is the one of the persons in her life who doesn't take her bullshit. 

He sighs and then continues, looking back at her with shiny eyes “I understand that your work quite takes a lot of time from your hands but I miss talking to my little sister”

She feels the weight of her lies in her shoulders and decides to trust a person who has been from the beginning with her, after all, he isn't Will nor Mattie,  _ right? _

“Actually” Carmilla says, before her own coward tendencies catch up to her, she confesses in a rush with a grimace “I lost the company”

The silence weighs and Carmilla plays with a packet of sugar, meanwhile JP chokes on air and instantly looks back at her, his eyes full of worry, his face turning serious.

“ _ What? _ What happened?” his voice full of concern.

Her throat is closing but  _ why to lie to him anymore? _

“ _ Mother _ ” Carmilla spits out the word and shakes her head with a bitter laugh “she happened”

JP looks speechless and frazzled “But-but what? What the hell did you do to anger her?” he asks in a whisper, looking around him.

Carmilla knows all too well the feeling that everyone is watching you and your every step because a few months that was  _ her _ .

“ _ It's complicated _ ” she replies looking at him directly in the eyes, before accepting the coffee from the waiter and thanking her “But that's not why I'm here- that's- that's a matter for another coffee, okay?” she dismisses with a hand, trying to convey the message of  _ not here, not in public. _

He nods with a frown but then smiles “Of course, do you know you can count with me for anything, right?” 

She smiles back at him.

Even after all these years, he is still the good kid who is willing to help anyone in trouble. He always has been a great dude.

“Yeah, I know” Carmilla admits cheekily. 

“So, what could be more urgent than losing the work of your life?” He wonders with a crooked smile, before sipping his iced coffee.

Carmilla takes a pen from his jacket front pocket, writes quickly down in a napkin and passes it to him, taking a minute to sip her coffee slowly.

“ _ Now? _ ” He asks, once he has read the message of  _ need you 2 search someone (no questions)  _

“Yes” Carmilla confirms with seriousness, then quickly sipping her good and bitter coffee  “As soon as you can, really” 

“I can- do it at work, after this” JP offers, scratching his beard and looking thoughtful “just send me the name and whatever else you have access to about them that could help me”

Eyeing the guy in the table next to them, just in case, Carmilla accepts with a solemn nod and half smile “That would be great”

JP smiles.

“I do have a question” He asks with a glint in his eyes and she groans loudly but still gives him space to say whatever else his mind is formulating “Who is her?” 

Carmilla glares at his teasing smile and expression of  _ knew it  _ from her brother 

“A friend” she clarifies.

“Huh” He agrees, eating some cream with sprinkles from his finger and smiling smugly at her “Sure”

She groans before sipping her coffee “I hate you” 

“You really don't” JP denies.

“No, I don't” Carmilla agrees and smiles back at him before robbing some of the cream from his drink and making him pout.

 

* * *

After ten more minutes of catching up with JP on easy topics such as her friends and his work- and promising to keep talking with him , she goes back home just to find Laura floating above the couch while frowning at the TV.

And Carmilla can't help but care deeply.

“Whats up with you?” she asks offhandedly, taking off her boots and walking to the couch. “TV did anything to you?”

“ _ Nothing _ ” Laura says, not moving her eyes away from the paused TV.

“ _ Bullshit _ ” Carmilla replies crossing her arms “Your face betrays your mouth, cupcake”

And Laura doesn't have anything else to do than sigh evidently exasperated and confess “Okay, I'm nervous”

“About the whole coma thing?” Carmilla sits beside her in the couch and asks quietly with an assuring gaze.

The blonde nods shortly.

“I'm just- trying to not get my hopes up about it” she says easily “I mean, even if you really wanna think about it, it's still a hypothetically crappy situation” Laura sniffs with some evident sadness sweeping through her strong exterior and Carmilla crumbles a little with her “I've been what- a ghost, for more than half a year? What's the possibility of me being even alive after a coma this long?” she asks particularly to the air, laughing without any humour.

“Who knows” Carmilla concedes with a shrug, trying to bring her ghostly roommate´s mood up  “Maybe you truly are, odds may be in your favor this time”

“Oh yeah?” Laura asks back and her voice is less teary but still sad and quiet “and why is that?”

Carmilla thinks that teasing is always a nice idea when trying to brings Laura's mood up but right now, serious talk would be of more help.

Maybe even exposing some truths out there.

_ Maybe even exposing herself out there a little. _

“Lafontaine hasn't been the only one reading about ghost and shit, you know?” Carmilla admits avoiding looking directly at Laura, all while feeling her cheeks heating up “Not like medical essays and that kind of crap that they with them but- yeah, ghost stuff” 

Carmilla stirs in the couch and turns to look at Laura, who looks nothing short to shocked.

“Are you serious?” the ghost asks softly, her eyes shining and Carmilla nods with a serious expression, making the “But since when and why? Why would you-I mean..you didn't- I- Why, Carmilla?”

_ How can she say this without sounding weird…? _

Carmilla rakes her nails over her jeans and explains  “Well, since the first day I couldn't understand some things about you” she confesses, watching as Laura's own eyes grow curious at her words, Carmilla continues a little more sure “More like the very fact you were a ghost- there's was- there is just a lot of you that tells me that you aren't like dead?” she chuckles and still, she is so  _ fucking nervous to admit it out loud  _  “I mean, you smile and cry and laugh, just everything that you do- it clicks within me” Carmilla clarifies feeling her own intensity getting too much, she breaths out before resuming “it clicks that you are present, not just present in the room or right beside me but present as if you are still alive, Laura, if that makes any sense” 

Her hands have tightened in the material of her jeans and Carmilla can help but look away from Laura's eyes when they become too much to handle.

“You just feel so much” she says, looking at the far wall behind the TV, trying to ignore her heart “and yeah, I didn't think that ghosts were supposed to be like that, so i've been reading about it to understand why”

The silence is deafening for seconds and what seems like minutes, even hours.

But it's just a moment that seems to extend for forever in the living room.

“ _ Wow _ ” is all that Laura says, making Carmilla instantly frown.

“Too intense?” Carmilla asks, rubbing her neck and wanting to have a nice drink with alcohol on her hand instead of these uncomfortable feelings bubbling up.

Laura shakes her head instantly “ _ I just _ \- didn't know that you payed so much attention to me, I- I guess” 

Carmilla doubts that Laura has any idea of how much of a distraction she has been, how much of her time Carmilla has been spending thinking about her.

_ Its best if she doesn't know. _

“We have been living together for almost a week, of course i've been paying attention to you, cupcake” the dark haired jokes anyway, raising her brow at the colored cheeks of her ghostly roommate. 

Her phone dings and she grins knowing well who and what is it. 

_ JP for sure is efficient. _

“Are you ready to see this?” Carmilla asks with some caution, taking out the cellphone out of her pocket and keeping there in her hand in case that Laura says no.

“Kind of?” Laura replies, smiling nervously.

Carmilla sighs and points out helpfully “You can also chose to not see it” 

Laura pales almost comically, instantly covering her face with both of her hands.

“Ugh! I'm absolutely everything but sure about this, Carmilla” she confesses, her voice growing terrified but determined “But if there's any possibility of hope, I want it now” she uncovers her face, her face slowly turning as determined as her words.

Carmilla nods and turns her phone to vibrate, trying to quiet the atmosphere.

She breathes out deeply, before opening the file.

“Okay, here we go” 

Reading just the first line, she can't help but open her mouth in surprise and frown lightly.

“ _ What is it? _ ” Laura asks instantly, inching closer but being careful of not touching Carmilla “what it says?!”

The dark haired woman replies quickly, moving the cellphone so Laura can read too “He says that there aren't any death certificates under your name” Carmilla reads out loud “ _ dear sister, blah blah the name Laura Eileen Hollis does not figure out in any death certificate emitted in this year or before this year, I add an screenshot of the search underneath”  _

Carmilla turns to Laura, who looks shocked to the core.

“Laura?” she asks gently.

Suddenly, the ghost gasps.

“I'm not  _ dead _ ” she looks at Carmilla and shakes her head fastly “I'm not dead!” she repeats with a blank face “I mean, at least legally, I'm not frickin dead!  _ oh my god!”  _ she smiles hugely for a few seconds of joy but then frowns “ _ wait _ \- does that mean that…?” 

Carmilla opens her mouth to answer but she doesn't know what else to say but “let's read the rest before we take unfounded conclusions” as calm as she can, even with all the emotions running through her because  _ Laura isn't dead. _

_ At least officially. _

Both inch closer to the phone and there aren't any more gasps after the next line, not gaping mouths, just a deafening silence that says way more than anything else could have.   
“ _ However, I found her name registered in the West South Styria Hospital for private reasons I couldn't find access to, I'm so sorry, sis, tried my best but it seems like someone really it's trying to hide the reasons why your friend is there, anyway I add the screenshots of her file underneath, hope it helps! Bye xxxx” _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> and- what do you think?!??! WHAT DO YOU THINK THAT HAPPENED TO LAURA AHHHHH?!?!??!??!?!?!?!?!
> 
> ANYWAY comments and kudos always welcome!

**Author's Note:**

> leave comments and kudos to boost my ego- nah jk to motivate me to write another chapter of this.


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